Star Above My Bed

anything_i_do @ 2004-10-17T12:39:00

2004-10-17T16:40:23Z

AGAIN...

I HAVE A NEW LIVE JOURNAL!

onedaywewilldie

ADD ME PLEASE!!!

anything_i_do @ 2004-10-12T15:35:00

2004-10-12T20:36:07Z

along with my new icon, I made a new journal! I got bored with this username, so here' my new one: onedaywewilldie

add me bitches

and let me know if you want to be added

<3

I'm soo bored, can you tell?

2004-10-12T16:17:05Z

I made a new icon, I like it... I like it a lot.

oh what to do...

2004-10-12T16:06:42Z

I hate my user name, I want to change it... again.

anyone got a code?

what a weekend...

2004-10-12T04:03:32Z

Man, my weekend was awesome. Here's how it went down...

Friday did not go as planned. Veronica read the tickets wrong and the Coheed show was not last Friday, but this coming Friday. So instead we met up with Evan, and headed over to Alex's. Smoked a huge blunt and played a lot of hackey sack. I slept over Veronica's house that night, which worked out cos my goal was to not go home all weekend. Although Friday was not what I had expected, it didn't turn out too bad. And all I have to say is atleast we didn't miss the show, we just have to wait another week.

Saturday morning I got dropped off at Ev's house around 10 and we spent the day just laying around together. It was awesome. There was to be a party at his house that night, and Jesus Christ did we have a party. I started drinking at about 6 or so, and by 12 I was passed out. During the few hours I was awake, I was completely shit faced. I drank a whole bottle (pretty much, -4 or 5 shots) of Parrots Bay Pinapple Rum, mmmmm.... I had a decent time besides the huge drunken fight Evan and I got into. And as much as it was horrible at the time, it proved soo much when it comes to my friends, and my relationship with Ev. Things worked out ok, and I was really surprised to see who was there for me. There were a few times I passed out or couldn't stand on my own. And I definitely cried my fucking eye balls out. But over all, it wasn't soo bad. It was one of those things that when you think about it the next day, you just laugh hysterically at yourself.

Sunday was a good day. I woke up around 7:30, and actually got out of bed around 12 or so. I cleaned Evan's house for him while he was sleeping, took a shower, ate some food, drank a bunch of water, then made pizza while Ev was in the shower (when he finally got up at 4:30 in the afternoon, heh). By the time we both were done hanging out together and ready to get a packey, we realized it was Sunday and all the stores were closed. Luckily Ev got some Peppermint Schnopps the night before, so him and I did get drunk. We smoked two blunts and a few bowls as well. I passed out around 2:30 and woke up at 4 in the morning to an empty house and Evan passed out in a chair. I got him up, and we made our way to bed.

Today we woke up around 9, I cleaned his house again, we smoked a bowl and got up to make some breakfast. We had scrambled eggs with Ketchup, bacon, toast, and coffee. And speaking of coffee, I burnt my thumb on the coffee maker and I'm starting to get a large blister... I don't think I've ever been burned this bad, and I really wish I hadn't done it... Around 3:30, me, Ev and Big B went to go see Shaun of the Dead. It was good, I enjoyed it. And what was better than the movie is I only payed Matinee price. :)

The high light of my weekend, even with all the good drunkenness and amount of fun I had, would have to be the fact that I spent all weekend with Ev. He's the most amazing man I have ever met, and it was soo wonderful to be able to wake up next to him every morning. It was a glimpse of what it's going to be like when we live together next year... It almost felt like we were married... doing the dishes, making food, taking showers together, cleaning the house, the whole shabang! And I loved it! All of it! It was one of the best weekends ever...

hopefully there are many more to come.

<3

anything_i_do @ 2004-10-08T01:00:00

2004-10-08T06:02:42Z

I hope you know how much I love you...

<3

anything_i_do @ 2004-10-07T03:07:00

2004-10-07T08:09:28Z

I'm so tired.
I wish I could see you right now.
Only a few more hours to go.
13 to be exact.
it's a long wait, but so worth it.
<3

anything_i_do @ 2004-10-06T11:12:00

2004-10-06T16:20:59Z

I'm in the mood for a photo shoot. If only I had the initiative to get up, take a shower, get dressed, and make myself look hott. I feel like making new icons and such...

But instead, I will go have some lunch, then probably come back and take a nap because there is never anyone around.

<3

p.s. I need to update sometime about my past few days, they have been soo much fun!

anything_i_do @ 2004-10-05T09:23:00

2004-10-05T14:38:11Z

i miss you

anything_i_do @ 2004-10-03T23:17:00

2004-10-04T03:18:08Z

oh my god, I'm so in love.

if only it was possible...

2004-10-03T21:49:18Z

i wish i could tell you exactly how much i feel for him

<3

I'm not sure what my nick name is...

2004-10-02T19:39:09Z

everything seems to be about right with that, besides the fact that I think I am much more of a romantic than that, and I definitely cuddling with Evan in excessive amounts... it's one of our favorite things to do. hmm....

so yesterday was amazing, let's just say I am rediculously sore today, ha ha ha. but besides that it was soo good to see my baby, and to have everything back to normal. I'm soo happy things worked out, cos I really don't think I could ever love another as much as I love Evan. we spent the whole day together, we went to KFC, then back home to the Res to take pictures, then back to my house, and chilled, just the two of us, the whole night. today I probably won't see him much, so I made him and myself some lunch and brought it to him while he was at work. I really think this whole "space" thing will work out for the best. cos I definietly love seeing him all the time, but now when we see each other, pretty much only every weekend, the time we have together is soo amazing. and it's fine for right now to not spend every day with him, because we will have plenty of time for that when he's out of high school... I love him with every bit of my heart, and nothing could ever change that.

also, yesterday while Ev and I were at the Res, Veronica called me and told me some great news. Coheed and Deathcab for Cutie are playing together next Friday, and her and I are going! for free! [I <3 her brother Pat] the show is at the Avalon, which I enjoy, so it should be a good time. I can't wait!

all right, I'm out. <3

isn't life funny...

2004-09-30T22:35:56Z

It's soo strange how love fucks with your head. It can be the best thing at times, but it can make you feel like you want to die at other times.

yup, that's all I wanted to say about that...

anything_i_do @ 2004-09-29T14:51:00

2004-09-29T18:54:23Z

he's the only man I'll ever want <3

a not so good _ _ _ _ _ ...

2004-09-29T06:32:03Z

I hate when I confuse myself to the point where I have no idea what to think about anything. My mind is going crazy, and I can't get this out of my head.

o.O

I NEED HELP!</cneter>

I miss you soo much already...

2004-09-28T15:13:00Z

you should have just stabbed me in the heart with a knife...

it probably would have felt better than this

:'(

I did it cos everyone else was doing it...

2004-09-28T15:11:30Z

This thing is right on the money... it made me laugh, but cry at the same

oh, and that's right! my sex skills are at 69%! ha ha ha

I'm such a mess!!

2004-09-28T02:55:22Z

I just don't understand how you could do this to someone you love... something this painful. I never thought I'd be going through this with you, I always thought you were different... I thought you were the one. I hurt soo much right now! I can't breathe, and I wish I could just fall asleep and never wake up. I'm all alone, I'm shaking... I wasn't ready for this!

I wish this was a bad dream, one which I could wake up from, in bed with you, in your arms, holding me tight so that nothing could ever hurt me...

I'm such a mess right now. I'm soo crushed!

I hope that someday our paths cross again, and you realize what a mistake you're maiking...

</3 yours forever

anything_i_do @ 2004-09-27T17:53:00

2004-09-27T22:54:14Z

I really hate this...

anything_i_do @ 2004-09-27T11:23:00

2004-09-27T17:32:17Z

I'm tired of being sad, I just want to be happy again.

anything_i_do @ 2004-09-27T09:41:00

2004-09-27T14:42:04Z

does anyone even read my entries?

(comment if you do)

suddenly everything has changed...

2004-09-27T12:47:01Z

Putting all the vegetables away
That you bought at the grocery store today
And it goes fast
You think of the past
Suddenly everything has changed

Driving home, the sky accelerates
And the clouds all form a geometric shape
And it goes fast
You think of the past
Suddenly everything has changed

Putting all the clothes you've washed away
And as you're folding up the shirts you hesitate
Then it goes fast
You think of the past
And suddenly everything has changed

you drive me crazy...

2004-09-27T12:16:24Z

I feel soo sick to my stomach. I can't wake up like this every morning, I can't take it anymore. I don't eat, I barely sleep, and my emotions can't be controlled.

I wish I could just go to sleep, and not wake up until this is all over and everything is better...

</3

you probably would rather not hear this...

2004-09-27T06:18:00Z

I just really wish things could go back to the way they were. I miss the love, I miss the attention, but most of all.... I miss you. <3

please just take the time to really think about it, and realize the amount I love you is amazing, and what we had was amazing, and I'll do anything to make things right.

where did everything go wrong?

if I could take it back, I would...

...and never the two shall meet
said the tiger to its greatest fan
"the amount of love you wish to give is more than I can stand"
and now you leave me in defeat
leave me a battered, broken man
"the amount of love you wish to give is more than I can stand"...

.

if only I could walk away...

2004-09-25T21:43:48Z

.

Beware! Criminal

you crawl in bed,
it's 3am
a butterfly under the glass;
you're beautiful
but you're not going anywhere.
we do the same thing every night
I swear I've heard this song before.
a swimmer who has seen a shark;
I should really be more wary of the water.

you came, you saw, you conquered...
everyone!
and I'm left here guessing...
oh, what went wrong?
yeah, I'm down, but not out!
and far from done.
hey all! beware! criminal.

a prism with an intellect;
you throw your light selectively.
you stole my glow, a seasoned thief.
the blacks of my eyes are turning into opals.
today I walk!
there's nothing here left for me
but empty promises and
the thought of all the things I'm never getting back.

you came, you saw, you conquered...
everyone!
now I'm left here bleeding...
oh, what went wrong?
yeah, I'm down, but not out!
and far from done.
hey all! beware! criminal.

did you think, did you think
I wouldn't notice?
did you think, did you think,
did you really think I wouldn't care???